worries

"I just took a bunch of Oxycontin so I'm about to not care"
This is the cliff that my heart recently stumbled upon and fell off.
These are the words that made me want to reach through the phone and hug him.
I had to walk away from the phone.
I've mastered words and twisted them into ribbons of verbal eloquence and beauty.
Transforming thought into symbols
into gestures
speaking words that inspire people and make them remember
history and premonitions have passed through these lips
yet these words
shook me to my core.

Because I will always be that girl

I'm sitting here trying not to cry and all I can think about is you
how are you doing
are you thinking about me
or her
I'm sitting here in a broken home
so angry that I actually radiate hate
my heart is broken
my smile tainted with salted miracles
I'm sitting here thinking about you

No matter how much you hurt me or ignore me
I know I'll always be waiting for you
I don't want to leave you
If I stay maybe you will too
Unlike all the others

Insomniacs

My family doesn't sleep much
The night to us is a new day just waiting to be explored
in the darkness the hope of so many missed opportunities

The lights go out and we spring out of our premature beds into the unknown
night-shift parents means night time parties with the kids
one last glimpse at the father who was too busy during the day
The darkness is his laughter, his touch,his embrace
Little feet interrupt the endless abyss hoping to get one more delightful hug from the man with the rough beard who seems to never be alive
Open refrigerator doors signify the beginning of a nearly endless dance hands reaching to eliminate the emptiness
Together we conquer the lonely dark box that is our home
The whole block sits quietly watching our midnight escapades unfold

My family doesn't sleep much
The darkness is our escape

Disney and a life that is FUBAR

Oh Disney,
do you even know what you've done?
Taken a heart so open and filled it with doubt and regret in a matter of seconds
Can I trust you or will you like them leave me for her
Her beautiful Carmel skin and awesomely beautiful face
Do I know you?
You too have some thing special don't you
Fuck this is heartache waiting to happen
but I can't help it
you bring a smile to my heart
You for the time being are the ignition to my soul
I've felt for you in ways that I never could with [that guy]

You are my flame--
if only for the time being

[simple]

His eyes blue like the sky on a cold winter morning
watching my every move making me delightfully aware
Wanton hands and eyes not knowing what comes next.
Eager bodies too far apart from where they want to be

First hugs seem a delightful form of sustenance
Until something more meaningful
eager eyes blue and brown...
waiting for contact

hott ass body....fuck secrets and literary techniques I'm dropping names

So you think I have a hott body? Wats now? Right there's always got to be a next. Enjoy it now and how it is. I don't think I have a hott ass body actually I think Ihave a body that's worked and stressed.
Tense and knotted.
Hungry and wanton.
I have a body that's empty because it only exists for people like you.
I hate my body to be honest. It's not hott enough or pretty enough or thick enough or thin enough for you.
Point:
I want you(can't deny it)...badly actually
but the thing is I don't think you even matters as much as me just wanting it badly.
I have a hott ass body and I just need someone to cool me down.

Does this make me a hussy?