Let's pretend I'm five; young and naive enough to ask the questions that really matter.
Question One: What's love?
Where do rainbows come from?
Knowing that you can't leave these questions unanswered in fear of breaking my little heart, you too have to face these questions.
Knowing that refractions of light off water droplets won't satisfy me
You realize that love is that feeling that makes you warm and fuzzy inside and rainbows originate in a land far to complicated for either you or I to really comprehend.

To the person I love

I want to be your everything though I know I cannot be.
Your dreams have been corrupted by the worlds of a society too demanding.
I hope you understand that it's hard to dream when they've tattoo false realities unto your eyelids in an attempt to trap you within their expectations even as you try to dream of an alternate reality.

Today is 18
only 18
so much more to come.
Consider this the first day of the last time you have to be like them

Consider this your chance to escape the "real world" and discover reality

Lost Ambition

Higher education has stripped me of my soul, identity and purpose.
I know who I am
Who I have been
And am attempting to find who I'm destined to be
But lost in a see of monotony and competition
All I can do is fight to be like those around me:
Unaware of my blessings, devoid of remorse and meaning and hopelessly searching

I haven't written in so long.
I miss it.

Pictures are my reality

They say your soul is trapped within the moment of that one flash
You can't see why I smile so much around you but yet in my pictures I look empty
Maybe I am empty
The blank stares I give you behind smiles that beg you to define me
are not me

I am not young,happy, or free
You caressing me does not settle nor feed me
Inside I hate myself more than you claim to hate yourself for forgetting me
As you promise that you'll never forget to call again
I vow to never be me again

Trapped within the insufficient promises of your socially acceptable lips
The rich Caramel of your molested past that I wish to share
Almond eyes that tell me to run while I still can because there is a storm coming.

Why do I look so sad in my pictures?
Why don't you tell me?

I've already given you the permission to define me in every other way.

It seems that I am at a crossroads of sorts in my life
emptiness consumes my hectic schedule and for some reason only one thing remains relevant through the various twists and turns of reality.
I'm afraid of losing but I know this isn't my game of choice.
I can't repeat those years I've tried so hard to forget...
Those I've just now managed to stop scowling at.

This is one loss I have to take with grace?
I really can't face the reality of it all.

Because nobody reads this....

Because nobody reads this I can scream and try to figure out why I'm so phucked up on paper
Enraptured at first glance
attached to the sound of my own name
I'm convincing myself that I like someone
No, I know I like someone
but not enough to justify the myriad of love songs I've listen to
Maybe they're just for me
Yeah, that makes sense

Why is that I've been programmed to fall deeply immediately even though more times than not it ends in tragedy.

I don't want to play the game anymore.
I want to just say"I like you but...
and leave it at that.
I like you but

• I'm not in more-than-like with you
• I'm not going to be like every other girl
• I might not have the time to care
• I'm psychotic
• I'm too insecure and you don't know that yet but I don't think its something I plan on getting over anytime so

Because nobody reads this...there's no one to help me figure out these feelings

And because of dysfunctional social conventions... I can't tell you any of this

I think we should see other people

Your frozen fingers trace the outline of my back
Shaking and shattering my essence
reminding me of everything that was
shocks of memory temporarily reignite our flame
but soon disappear much like the smile on your face

Two Chairs
One room
filled with the unspoken love we shared
shattered glasses and passionate kisses brought us here
now as we face opposite walls we wonder
What were we thinking? This could never work

Sorry, but I think we should see other different people

The words finally escape my lips
your hands engulf mine once more
the warmth of our bodies reminds us of before
When our embraces lasted an eternity
When I was the only one...

Our thoughts intertwined within sheets of ecstasy
taking and giving equally
together we we attempted to reach perfection
day,night,afternoon our bed of thought
soaked with our combined inspiration
was our perfection

I think we should see other people

My heart will always be yours
but these sheets have gotten too cold to bear