I can't do this anymore.

Are you blind or are you just full of yourself?

It could make this any more obvious if I spelt it out for you.

You are not my soul-mate.

You are not meant for me.

This will never work out.

You love her and barely remember I exist.

No matter how hard I try I will always be a disgusting and inadequate representation of woman. I am not enough. I will never be enough.

I may never exist.

I wish I could stop thinking about you.

I wish that I didn't think the things that I did.

In all honesty I wish I could just fuck the living shit out of someone and forget about you.

PS: I know you know and that you're exploiting my love for you. Don't make me want you and then tell me seconds later about how much you made your girlfriend cum. How could you not notice how I look at you.

Dear Asshole,

You should be shot. Simply that. I mean yes you are obviously an idiot out of some shit-hole town in the midwest where the tan kid was the most diversity you've ever seen, but maybe your ignorance has grown too out of control. I don't give a fuck how attractive or loquacious you are, you have no goddamn right to assume my political views, social affiliations or anything about me for that matter. Your assumptions could be categorized as slightly racist but I think I know you well enough to conclude that you're just another ignorant hick carrying around too many prejudices for you to even really see what I have to offer you.

Congratulations on making me hate you. I thought this day would never come.

My reason for writing

I write because I know my words can extinguish any emotion you show him.

My words are stronger than your bubbly personality, fake smile and great boobs combine.

The power of my words can extinguish anything you could ever think of doing.

If you make it this far

To have faith in you would be to embrace death,

sleep alongside disappointment and wait slowly for you to either leave me or be erased from society's memory like the others.

You are a product of your environment and sadly I refuse to sink my teeth into fruit that was born on the tree of hate and watered with the tears of bitter black women who in an attempt to forget their wanton past clung to inadequate men in the name of preserving their culture.

You, my love, are the product of hate and ignorance

Try to escape but like the tar that fills the lungs of your brethren,

your sinews are filled with an unsweetened and inescapable truth:

Our environment defines us

And we simply cannot be

Let's pretend I'm five; young and naive enough to ask the questions that really matter.
Question One: What's love?
Where do rainbows come from?
Knowing that you can't leave these questions unanswered in fear of breaking my little heart, you too have to face these questions.
Knowing that refractions of light off water droplets won't satisfy me
You realize that love is that feeling that makes you warm and fuzzy inside and rainbows originate in a land far to complicated for either you or I to really comprehend.

To the person I love

I want to be your everything though I know I cannot be.
Your dreams have been corrupted by the worlds of a society too demanding.
I hope you understand that it's hard to dream when they've tattoo false realities unto your eyelids in an attempt to trap you within their expectations even as you try to dream of an alternate reality.

Today is 18
only 18
so much more to come.
Consider this the first day of the last time you have to be like them

Consider this your chance to escape the "real world" and discover reality

Lost Ambition

Higher education has stripped me of my soul, identity and purpose.
I know who I am
Who I have been
And am attempting to find who I'm destined to be
But lost in a see of monotony and competition
All I can do is fight to be like those around me:
Unaware of my blessings, devoid of remorse and meaning and hopelessly searching

I haven't written in so long.
I miss it.